Friday, May 02, 2014
Training Tip

Never teach a smart-ass dog a paw touch target. Avery has taken this skill to a new level, she uses it to open the car window. And let's just say she's not the type of dog to just hang her head out of the window. She had most of her body hanging out the window tonight. pretty sure the first time she sees a Dairy Queen she's going to try and jump out. She's very proud of herself, I, on the other hand, have a few more grey hairs after catching sight of her in my side view mirror.

Posted at 08:49 pm by teenerb
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Thursday, April 24, 2014

I woke up Easter Sunday and Kingston was fixated on something outside. When I looked to see what it was, I saw a stray cat in my yard stalking something. When he pounced, baby bunnies went running. Of course I had to stop the massacre, so I trotted out the back door. As soon as the door opened, the cat took off. I went out to investigate and found one baby bunny deceased and one that seemed unharmed. The unharmed one hopped off into the brush when I approached.

Later that evening I glanced out the window and the cat was back. He had the remaining bunny cornered by the garage. I went back out and again the car took off. The bunny was scared but unharmed. I figured the cat was not going to leave the nest alone as long the baby was still there. Well, unless some sap decided to step in. And we all know who that sap is.

I grabbed a flower pot and put the baby inside. Just call me Mrs. MacGregor. Brought the little guy in and got him set up in the cat crate with an old scarf for a nest. Of course the only place in my house safe from my heathens was the bathroom. Since I did want him to be created in a crate, I put a towel down in the bathtub and let the crate door open. Now he has run of the bathtub for 23 hours and 45 minutes a day. When it's time for my shower, I lock him up in the crate and remove him from the tub. Every afternoon when I come home I go out back and pull up some has and dandelions for him to snack on. He had been a little skittish around me until I started bringing him the dandelions, now he sits at the door of the crate waiting on me.

I haven't seen the cat in my yard since I brought the baby in, so hopefully he's forgotten about him more. Once the baby gets a little bigger and can hold his own against a cat, I'll turn him back out. Meantime, he seems pretty content with the situation and I like walking up in the morning and seeing this in my tub:

Posted at 07:21 pm by teenerb
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Saturday, April 19, 2014
He Just Ain't Right

Posted at 06:20 am by teenerb
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Friday, April 18, 2014
Do The Wave

Posted at 06:17 am by teenerb
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Sunday, April 13, 2014
High Rollers

Guess who found deer poop in the park?

Posted at 09:35 pm by teenerb
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Wednesday, April 09, 2014
Another Backseat Driver

And this one just spotted the McDonald's sign. Ice cream? Ice cream!!

Posted at 10:50 am by teenerb
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Tuesday, April 08, 2014
Makes Fenway Look Good

Brogan got my shoe stuck on his nose. And up until now I always thought he was the smarter of my two boys. He's making Fenway look like a freakin' genius.

Posted at 01:18 pm by teenerb
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Friday, April 04, 2014
Crazy Like A Fox

When I adopted Fenway, everyone (well everyone who has ever met him) said I was crazy. I myself have felt that way when he's in one of his assier moods. I've joked that I don't know why I adopted him but that he'd probably end up saving my life some day and justify my bringing home what I generally refer to as "my crazy-ass bull terrier".

When I bought my car, some people thought I was crazy. I don't make a lot of money and haven't had car payments in years. Can I really afford a car? Of course none of those people had ridden in the Saturn on a rainy day when the brakes didn't work but still a valid concern. I myself have had a few anxiety attacks about making the payments.

Yet in both cases, as with many aspects of my life these days, I don't put a whole lot of thought into my actions. I just go with the flow since my best laid plans usually fall apart anyway. Yet in both of the above mentioned cases, my craziness may have paid off.

Monday I drove my new car to a job interview in Indianapolis (a trip the Saturn never would have made). One of the interview questions was "Do you like sports" To which I was able to respond "Well, I have a dog named Fenway". Never in a million years thought I'd answer an interview question that way.

I'm not saying the car or the dog had a final hand in the job offer, but in two weeks I will be employed as a Product Proofer for the sports license division of Adidas. <insert happy dance here>

Who's crazy now, huh? 

Posted at 11:01 am by teenerb
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Thursday, April 03, 2014
Ever Wonder

If you've ever wondered what karma looks like, well here it is:

Know what that is? That's the temporary crown my dentist put on until the final crown was finished.

Why is it on my desk? Because it fell off while I was eating Pop Tarts yesterday.

What is its karmic significance? Well, the day after I went in for the temporary, I was scheduled for a job interview. I needed an excuse to take off more time from work, so I created this brilliant story about the dentist finding that I'd damaged the build up the did after the root canal. I even foreshadowed my departure following the job interview by telling them the dentist said the damage was caused by me grinding my teeth at night as a result of work stress. Yes, sometimes I worry that I'm a sociopath what with the ease and brilliance of my lies, but I just watch Dexter until the feeling goes away.

Anyway, the job I'd interviewed for didn't pan out. Yet in karmic justice, the temporary crown I lied about coming out reallydid come out. Luckily I'm scheduled to have the final crown put on today so no real damage done. But it's just another sample of how the universe likes to play cat and mouse with me.

Posted at 09:27 am by teenerb
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Monday, March 31, 2014
No Jump Harness My Ass!

Yeah, that no jump harness just works so well. The only reason he couldn't go higher is because his leash was tethered to my waist.

Posted at 02:24 pm by teenerb
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For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack. Rudyard Kipling

"For a long while I have believed...that in every generation there are a few souls, call them lucky or cursed, who are simply born not belonging, who come into the world semi-detached, if you like, without strong affiliation to family or location or nation or race; that there may even be millions, billions of such souls, as many non-belongers as belongers, perhaps; that, in sum, the phenomenon may be as "natural" a manifestation of human nature as its opposite, but one that has been mostly frustrated, throughout human history, by lack of opportunity.

And not only by that: for those who value stability, who fear transience, uncertainty, change, have erected powerful system of stigmas and taboos against rootlessness, that disruptive, anti-social force, so that we mostly conform, we pretend to be motivated by loyalties and solidarities we do not really feel, we hide our secret identities beneath the false skins of those identities which bear the belongers' seal of approval.

But the truth leaks out in our dreams...: alone in our beds (because we are alone at night, even if we do not sleep by ourselves), we soar, we fly, we flee. And in the waking dreams our societies permit, in our myths, our arts, our songs, we celebrate the non-belongers, the different ones, the outlaws, the freaks.

What we forbid ourselves, we pay good money to watch, in a playhouse or movie theatre, or to read about between the secret covers of a book. Our libraries, our palaces of entertainment tell the truth. The tramp, the assassin, the rebel, the thief, the mutant, the outcast, the delinquent, the devil, the sinner, the traveller, the gangster, the runner, the mask: if we did not recognize in them our least-fulfilled needs, we would not invent them over and over again, in every place, in every language, in every time."
Salman Rushdie

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